Regret

Forgiveness flounders because I exclude the enemy from the community of humans even as I exclude myself from the community of sinners. ~Miroslav Volf

I love that thought. That forgiveness means treating the other as a human and not a monster, while remembering that I too have been monstrous.

The trick is what to do when we know all too well that what we have done was monstrous and cannot be undone. How to deal with regret?

Simple answer? Let your regrets drive you to Jesus. Sorrow over the past should result in a willingness to change, a want to change. But, to quote Macklemore, we can't change even if we wanted too. We can't change the past, we can't take back the words, we can't really change ourselves. Dwelling on the past only leads to more sorrow. Sorrow that if left untended will lead to death.

But there are two kinds of sorrow: 2 Corinthians 7:10 reminds us that "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." Good sorrow, godly sorrow, leads us to repent, that is it makes us turn from our monstrous ways and turn to Jesus. To ask Jesus to do a miracle and forgive us when we cannot forgive ourselves. To ask Jesus to turn death into life again, just as he did at the cross. That's wheat our regrets should drive us to, and when they do, Jesus promises to save us from them.